I finally got this video up!!!!

Below is a song I wrote. I am playing it for real, those are my actual hands. Sorry about the poor sound quality, my camera isn't made for this type of thing.



If you have any ideas at all for lyrics to this song, please comment them below. I want this song to tell of someone who was at a low point in there life, or maybe is still at that low point. Here are some lyrics I already have:

The Struggle Within (Solitary Shell)


The struggle within

It kills me inside

I want someone to hold me

I pull away

From those I want to love

I need someone to stop me



I’m all alone

Imprisoned at home

I feel like there’s no hope

My mind’s the enemy

Why can’t somebody see

I need someone to love me



I’m hoping for the day

When I don’t pull away

Withdrawn inside myself for far too long

Praying for a way

To keep myself sane

Long enough to find a way to fit in



I’m all alone

Imprisoned at home

I feel like there’s no hope

My mind’s the enemy

Why can’t somebody see

I need someone to love me



I don’t want to be alone

But I can’t change what is

I don’t have a heart of stone

But it would be easier than this

I want to break free from myself

To live outside of my solitary shell

I need to break out



I’m all alone

Imprisoned at home

I feel like there’s no hope

My mind’s the enemy

Why can’t somebody see

I need someone to love me

Randomness

This is a random blog so I could see what all these fancy features are for.

Heeeeeeeellllllloooooooo

I'm BIG

Sooo how are you today? Fine thank you. What's wrong with yo words? I don't even know

Nice tattoo!

Click Me!

What I did today (haha funny title Selena)

Today was our church baptism. I got to see my little sister and my grandparents get baptized. It was really awesome to physically see how the Lord has saved them, and brought them over from death to life.

Afterward, me and a few other kids went swimming. I didn't have any thing to swim in, so I just took off my glasses and jumped in fully dressed...in my dress! It was entirely uncomfortable. But hey, it is 104 degrees here today. You can break a sweat just sitting around for too long in one spot. But the thing is, you're dripping with sweat by the time you move to a different position. Ugh, I hate California...

What I Do When I'm really Super Bored

These are banners I make on my computer when I have nothing else to do. If you like them I can make you one, just send me some pictures and colors you want me to use, and I'll see what I can do. Ok, here they are. Click on them to view them full size.


This would be Andrew Garcia.


This is Ben Kasica from Skillet. The words are the lyrics to "Treasure" by Flyleaf.


Danny Gokey......duh. Not my best work.


This is my sister Genevieve. I took these pictures by the way.


John Cooper from Skillet, with the rest of the band in the background.


I just made this one really fast for my friend Haley. Lee Dewyze in case you can't read (which would be weird, why would you come to my blog if you can't read?)


Creepy John Cooper.


This is a wallpaper I made custom for my computer, but it ended up looking kinda weird. It's John Cooper and Ben Kasica, with a poem I wrote.

These are all banners I made for the Panhead Awards 2009.







ALL COPYRIGHTS TO BANNERS BELONG TO ME! PLEASE ASK BEFORE YOU USE THEM! The only exception is if you were a winner of the Panhead Awards 2009, in which case please feel free to take any one of the Award banners.

Half and half

A lot of you probably know that I'm a half and half, half Mexican and half white. I'm also the oldest of four children, and today I noticed something strange. We all turned out white. I mean, you can sort of tell by my face that I have some Mexican in me, but my skin is deathly white in some places. My brother has some awesome tanning abilities that could pass him as Mexican, but he doesn't have the facial shape I have.

Seriously, what are the odds? Me and all of my siblings had a 50% chance of being Mexican, but not one of us got it. I have a friend who is half and half like me. She has a Mexican mom and a white dad, just like I do. But she looks totaly Mexican. Her brother looks white, just really tan.

So they had one out of two, not surprisingly. But my family has none out of four. Crazy.



What's wrong with my family? Comment please, tell me what you think.

Summer vacation!! (Part the last)

It's finally over. My wonderful vacation to my hometown ended on Sunday, along with all my joy, happiness, peace....

Haha just kidding. I was honestly really missing home and the people I left behind for three weeks during this trip. I discovered how much my heart was torn between these two places: the place I loved and grew up in, and the place where my family is. It's hard I guess, hard because you can't be two places at once. It's scary to think about, but I will always be stuck in this place between these places. I will never again belong in any one spot.

Anyway, I had a nice last day in the valley. My church back there does a service in the park in father's day, followed by a BBQ and potluck. I got sunburned of course, but it was worth hanging out with my friends at the park. I made two new guy friends, which is cool because guy friends don't wanna talk about relationships and drama all the time. You can just talk like a normal human being with them. Plus they're both home schooled.

Vacation may be over, but summer is just beginning. Without boatloads of school to do, who knows what kinds of crazy things I'll be into!

People who play music are cool

John Cooper: Skillet


Jen Ledger: Skillet


Project 86


Flyleaf


Danny Gokey

Summer Vacation!! (Part Four? I think)

I am really having the best time of my life. I felt guilty today, because today was the first time I truly missed home. I think it's because I know all this is going to end in less than two weeks. I want things to go back to normal, back where my new home is. I hate this feeling, to miss my true home when I'm here in my real home. But this is the way thingss are. This is life.

No pictures this time but I thought I should do an update. Wenz dyed my blond highlights purple! It is really awesome, even though the whole proses was rather nightmare-ish. At one point I had to basically shower fully dressed to keep from getting purple all over Wenz' mom's bathroom. I will post pictures of it next blog. I can't now because Wenz thought it would be fun to braid my hair in two pig tail braids today. Ugh.

On Saturday, Wenz and her parents took me shopping. I spend an insane amount of money, but new clothes are always good. It was an interesting experience, because Wenz and I have two very different styles of clothing. She's this classy, fancy blouse and boot cut jeans girl, while I'm the rocker chick who wears black all the time. She managed to spend a half hour at least inside Forever 21. I pretty much just followed her around, asking if we could go yet. I'm a personal fan of Converse and Zumies.

Today Wenz, her sister, the girl they baby sit and I had a water party. We put the sprinkler underneath the trampoline and jumped on it in our bathing suits. It was fun, but terrifying to someone like me who doesn't care for water too much.

Well, better go now. I have a friend who wants me. =)

Summer Vacation!! (Part Three)

Wenz is a bad driver. Wenz is a bad driver. Wenz is a bad driver. Wenz is a bad driver.



I drove with Wenz for the first time yesterday, and since I'm her best friend and she loves me, I can say right out that she is a pretty horrible driver. Her dad told me I wasn't safe with her behind the wheel before we took off, and he was right. If you value your life you will not ever go out for a drive with her.

Wenz also has a stupid dog who will not leave me alone.

On the bright side, Chlo came over today to hang out because we were bored. We called my dad to ask him if I was allowed to see a movie, and he imitated all these voices. First he was the CPA, then he was Runaways anonymous, and all kinds of things from Arnold Schwarzenegger to a taxidermist. It was crazy. I have never heard him do something like that. Oh, sure he does lots of crazy stuff but he was really out there today.

Hmmm....what else....HEY WENZ, WHAT ELSE HAPPENED TODAY THAT WAS FUNNY?

Oh yes, we initiated Chloe into our club today. We walked out to the super secret location of our business, The Colorful Zebra. Initiation included...oh Wenz said it's super secret. Never mind.

Wenz also hates the word frothy. Chlo, Wenz and I all had two cups of chai tea with froth on top, and every time we said frothy, she would get mad at us. She can't explain why she hates that word so much, she just hits us and throws stuff at us when we say it.

Yesterday I went to youth group. My youth pastor uses the same stories he did a year and a half ago. What is up wit dat?

Hey Wenz has a Skillet song on her computer in her play list!

In closing, Wenz took the coolest picture of me today.



Yes, I'm blogging. =)

Summer Vacation!! (Part Two)

Being back home is something special. I feel like I should be excited, but truthfully, things just feel normal. There's this peace inside me, like I'm back now, I'm safe, I don't have to worry any longer. It's day four, and I feel amazing.

Last night, we had my friend Wenz' sixteenth birthday. Eighty people showed up, all hanging out, eating, drinking, telling Wenz happy birthday. It was so fun! One of the best days of my life that will be remembered when I'm old and blind (yes blind).

My youth pastor was there, and all of his eight kids. He's one of the people I really missed, so it was awesome seeing him every few minutes. My friend Ben and I hung out too. We jumped on the trampoline and almost broke it. By rear touched the ground while I was getting super bounced. Then there was Sam...who I really don't like. He's weird, and he talks too much, but I feel bad for not liking him because he likes me. I told him if he let me make him a bracelet I would like him. But for now I do not like him. This is a picture of him, the skinny white Sam, and this girl that was staying with my other friend. (They wouldn't leave the poor girl alone)



I also made a new friend. Wenz' uncle Josh plays music, and released an album that he's selling by hmself, like, I think it's called indy artist *slaps forhead because she can't believe she just said that*. I really wanted to meet him and hear him play. When he showed up, Wenz introduced us, and I was like, "Okey, whatever" and moved on. But after a while I went to play the piano, and he started playing with me. It was kinda weird, but he was hecka good at it. Later on after dinner, he pulled me aside and told me to come play some more. So we had a little piano lesson, then we played the coolest, most beautiful song I've ever heard on he piano. The cool thing was, we were both improvising, but using the system he taught me, it sounded like we both new the song. It was crazy insane, as Wenz likes to say. We also traded bracelets, but he broke mine. Here's a picture of us at the piano.



Later that night, I had a late night trampoline jump with Chase, Ben, Chile, and Matthew. I was hanging out with the tween boys because all Jeremiah and Wenz wanted to do was talk about relationships. Lame.

That was about it. Wenz and I ended the night by eating a lot of candy, reading her birthday cards, and talking to my parents. It was an awesome night.

More updates to come. So far, I have two concerts planned, a babysitting job, and serving at a graduation party, so it should be pretty exciting.