Different is not that bad, right?

As years, decades, maybe even weeks go by, people are changing.

None of us are the same people we were last year, and we'll never be. I know people who don't understand change and how necessary it is to grow and remain effective in the world. Change happens. We can't do anything to stop that.

Take me, for example. Growing up, I was the classic nerd in glasses. I wanted to be smart. Anyone who was opposing to my ideas and creations was stupid and should be avoided as much a possible. Even when I was in school, nothing there affected me that much as far as my personality went. I was my own person and I did my own thing. When I got to be in my preteen years, the outside world started to place its mark on me. I was tired of being smart, because smart didn't fit in. I wanted to be normal.

Still, I did my own thing. I was a major tomboy, like short hair and baggy clothes tomboy. I shudder at the pictures of me because of how hard it was to tell if I was a boy or a girl. In my early teen years, I changed again. Still very much my own person, I started going to a youth group with other kids my age. They had their own ideas about things, but they still somehow fit in. I wanted to be like that. Long story short, this was the year I experienced my first heartbreak, my first best friends, my first click, what it's like to not be included in a click, and lots of drama. But over all, these things changed me the most so far, even to where I'm at now. Without these things, I might still be a tomboy with short hair and no friends.

It's been two years, and already I'm a completely different person. I'm quiteter now, closer to God and not as carefree as I once was. I learned how to be uniqe during the first part of this blog, and how to contrubute in the second part. Now I'm using this information to mature and move on with life. I'm seeing what's importaint and what's not.

All this could just be a nice little story of my life if it wasn't for the things in my life that don't change. You see, I change a lot. I could be a new person in a matter of weeks, with new goals and new ideas. But I have friends and other commitments that don't change this fast. It's not anyone's fault, but I struggle with the fact that I'm moving on and they're still stuck in the past. This is something that's been on my mind lately, how fast I move, how I'm leaving things behind.

This is mostly for my friends back home in Nevada. After my most recent visit, I noticed that something was wrong. It wasn't home anymore. these weren't my friends. That wasn't my church. It's all part of the past now, something God allowed me to have for a little while, but doesn't want me to have now. Now, I feel lost and trapped. I'm stuck in the middle of two different worlds. One is the one I'm in now, and the other is the one I was living.

It's painful to say this, but I don't belong anywhere anymore. I want so desperetly to go back home, but I don't belong there any longer. I hate the place I'm living now, but this is where my future lies.

I'm different yes. But I'm sick of people treating that like it's a bad thing. I have decided to move on. I still love my friends. What they taught me I will never forget. But I'm here now, and I'm a new person. Change is something they will have to deal with.