"My God I see now what you see, my God what do you see in me? My God, crowned in glory. The lamb of God is worthy."
So what do you see in me God? What have I done that you love me so much? When I neglect you, when I refuse to spend time with you, still you love me. When you have to wake me up in the middle of the night with pain just so I will talk to you, you still care. When you have to watch me frantically try and make choices on my own, still you wait for me to give my life back over to you.
Why Lord? There is absolutely no one in existence that would love me like you do if they knew what I was really like, underneath all this pretending. I bury it all inside the darkest parts of my heart, and pretend like everything's all right. They don't know what's going on inside my head. All day long my mind is working, sorting through all the things that could go wrong, hoping things work out like I need them to, and mostly worrying about insignificant things. But at the end of the day, when I feel so lost and so alone, incomplete and broken, I almost physically feel God's arms around me, and his voice whispering to me to come back to my first love.
I have family and some friends who don't even believe that God exists. This confuses me to the point of pain inside my mind. It's as if me and a friend were to observe a drum set, touch it, stand in front of it, view it from all different angles, and then decide that it doesn't actually exist, that the drum makers are just trying to make us think it does so we'll buy their product. See, we can't choose to "Believe" in God, because He IS. He's not in a position to exist or not.
In actuality, you have two choices: Reject God or accept him. There is no believing in his reality.
3 comments:
Awesome work, straight from the heart. It's so beyond our understanding the ways of God. Why He is the way He is with us, and why He loves us anyway? Its so true how you open yourself up to show the reality of the way we people really are. No matter the appearance, conduct, or character of a person each of us hold inside personal struggles, fears, or conflicts that only God knows and we know. "HE IS!" Thats just it.
Awwwwww! Your whole blog is outstanding! Please, keep up the good work!
Great post! I always said that you can choose not to believe in the air under the airplane's wings, but that has no bearing on the fact that it is holding up the plane. :)
Post a Comment