I Didn't Forget the Title This Time!

We are now at the halfway point of voting! I'm going to count up all the votes thus far and delete all the comments, so don't worry that all your lovely votes are missing. Your vote still counts. Remember to vote today and everyday in the upcoming week! Voting ends Thursday, May 26 at 8 o'clock PM. On to the blog...

This was another one of those weeks where I didn't have a topic to write about. But unlike last time, it isn't a result of procrastination. I've been thinking of what to write about all week, and even the week before that. My mind is just too busy to dwell on one thought for too long. I woke up this morning knowing that it was Friday, knowing my blog wasn't written, and for the most part, knowing why, and I felt almost a little guilty. I had allowed myself to get so caught up in the exciting weeks ahead, in minor drama, and other not-so-important things that it didn't leave enough time to slow down and really think.

I stumbled out of bed like a half dead zombie (is that a redundant statement?),grabbed my Zune, and walked out to the living room where it was freezing. The plan was for me to get up early and write my blog before I did anything else, but when my alarm went off and a gazillion thoughts were still running through my head, I knew that probably wasn't going to happen.

Before I go any further, let me explain to you what all's going on. Tomorrow night, I'm going to see Jeremy Camp with most of my church. I am so pumped about that, I know it's going to be a lot of fun. The weekend after that, I'm going to visit my hometown five hours away for a wedding. At this point, I'm actually more excited about that. I haven't been there for almost a year now, and I miss a lot of my friends there. But honestly, I'm also a little scared. Last time I went, the changes in me suddenly became so evident. It wasn't where I belonged anymore, and if I didn't belong there, where did I belong? This time, I'm planning on going as a visitor, not a returning citizen. The weekend after this, my best friend is coming over to spend two weeks with me. We'll be living under the same roof for two weeks, sharing the same room, doing EVERYTHING together, and just having a blast in general.

I'm looking forward to all these things so much, I thought I didn't have time for much else. But still my mind manages to cram more in. I'm thinking about going to the doctor for Over Active Mind Syndrome. So as I sat out in my living room, knowing that my first priority was not to write a blog, but to clear my mind of at least some things. I turned on my Zune, and played the first song in the playlist I had made last night to run to. The song was A Little More by Skillet. And it was then that I realized the answer to all this craziness going on in my head.

As I listened to the song, it was almost as if God was reasurring me that I didn't have to worry about what was going to happen in the next few weeks. When I felt like it was all left up to me, like I had to make all the descisions, It was Him that held me tighter and showed me what He wanted. "Love is all around you now, so take a hold." As my thoughts built themselves up to an alarming degree, and I wondered about anything and every thing, I thought deeply about the words I was hearing, "Don't suffocate day after day, it's building up. Cause when you're feeling weak, you know I'm strong enough". That was my problem right there. I was thinking it was my job, when all this time I needed to start giving things over to God before I suffocated, smothered by the things I worried about most.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10

The chorus of this song declares that the world can come crashing down, but love can take it. Again, something I needed to hear. Who cares if things don't work out the way I wanted them to? God knows the way He wants things to work, God knows what he has for me, why should I be so concerned with what I can't control? "Let the world crash, love can take it, oh, let the world come crashing down!"

Probably my favorite part of the whole song is the bridge, "You can find me anywhere. Take a look over your shoulder, I'll be standing there". And this is the point of the morning I found myself choking back tears. Of course, all this time I had simply to take a look behind me, and I could have seen that God was right beside me this whole time I was trying to figure things out.

This morning, as I was trying to regain control of my own life, a simple song reminded me that my life was not mine to regain control of. But instead, this morning, I'm giving control back over to God, knowing that my life will be much safer in the hands of the One who knows exactly how things are going to work out.

And now, I'm here, a blog written, a full day of work to do, an awesome weekend ahead of me, and only one decision remains: Should I bring back the Skillet obsession????